Wednesday, August 16, 2006

THE STATE FAIR IS BAACCKKK!!!!!

The State Fair is back!!!!
It's time to see all the carnage comm
ence. I always find a way to put myself that much closer to death with mass consumption of barley and hops with a diet full of artery clogging junk. I never understand why i feel so sick at the fair, maybe it's the warm beer
s that sit out on the tables at the beer tents waiting for me to indulge in that have conveniently become the local watering hole for all the flys that have made their way over from the feces factory that is the livestock expo. then i go and grab some grub, that's served to me from a guy who looks like a parolee, who's probably got hepatitis a,b,and c and maybe malaria and whatever else you can get from ticks or mosquito's, because dude looks like he just crawled out of the forest. I don't know maybe he's pullin' a double shift, he works indoor's putting on the lumberjack show then comes outside to gawk at the young girls while he secretly licks and plays with the weiners,thinking about the good ol'days when he was someone's bitch in the slammer, then adds his own secret sauce to the batter that will become my glorious corndog. But this is usually not enough for my craving,i have to see how much crap i wouldn't normally consume, so i hit-up all the wagons of heart-attack heaven. After this i'll decide i ride a couple rusted contraptions, let's see, do i ride the one that goes in circles, or the one that goes in a circle while going in a circle, or the one that goes in a circle while going in a circle while going up and down, oh i can't decide which will help me get this crap out of my system the fastest, i'll choose all of the above please. the one saving grace about the fair is the free, yes FREE, concerts at cardinal stadium, and as always it's a line-up to please all listening ears. so here they are.....................
august 17- Rick Springfield w/Fireball
august 18- YingYang Twins w/ KD
this show was supposed to have Naughty by Nature but local artist KD who i found out is signed wit a major label is opening. I went to www.velocityweekly.com and tried to find some songs in the free jukebox, but i found his site at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=59023418
i'm kinda lost on the rap game, but this shit hitz
august 19- Smash Mouth w/tbd
august 20- The Oak Ridge Boys
august 21- Michael W. Smith
august 22- Dwight Yoakam w/ Exile
august 23- Boondocks and Raindrops w/ BJ Thomas and Billy Joe Royal with special guest Gary Puckett
august 24- Lorrie Morgan w/ Mark Chesnut
august 25- Puddle of Mudd
august 26- Blake Shelton and Josh Turner
now i'm lookin forward to see something like this


Well a week or so ago i got my newest Playboy mag in the mail and it has Hef's girlfriends in it. The little sporty one just does something for me, i quess cause years ago i went out a few times with a girl like that, she even resembled that Kendra chick minus the fake tits and whatever other plastic surgery she's probably had. Now i'm not one to knock an opportunist, take Anna Nicole, she provided a service for that old oil-tycoon, giving him happiness in his last couple years and she deserves to be compensated for it. Which brings me to Hef's girlfriends, their providing him with what he needs, cause let's face it, if he was with someone his age he'd be getting hummers from this.............


Now don't get me wrong i'm an opportunist also, if i knew i was goin have a big payoff after afew years, my ass would be all up in a lady like this...........................


but that's just how i am, i am a whore of life, ha-ha sicko's
Now here's some pics of one of Hef's finest out and about, someone caught her out in the street showing of the new Playboy.

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